Victim? Is being sick an injustice?

I was thinking the other day, while watching the TV, that there seem to be so many people who crowd together and demand they be recognized as victims. And, in my job as a public contact person, people use the victim angle usually as the first thing out of their quiver when they want something...

On an individual basis, being sick with anything brings out the I want to lay down attitude and please wait on me.

Cup of tea, please. And, a cookie.

And, being really sick can be overwhelming for the person that is ill as well as all those who are close to that person. My own experience has been on both sides of this fence, having family that have been terribly and deathly ill, and also I have been deathly ill. This year's experience, cardiac problems, were something I had no idea about, thinking I was just going to confront that pesky little cancer in my chest.

But, the heart was out to get me, but it didn't. So time to move on. Fuck you Widowmaker.

Now, back to the victim thing. Everyone is different and brings an alternate emotional and psychological package to whatever it is they have to confront. But, many time I see for some that it seems so easy to lay down and cry victim when that is not the case. What does that get anyone?

What does victim mean?

1      a living being sacrificed to a deity or in the performance of a religious rite ... not many of these around anymore.

 

2      one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent : What? This seems like a stretch. Misuse of term here, and this type of language becomes all too easy for those parents of victimhood that are trying to stroke whatever social agenda they may have. Schools aren't victims of anything, they are simply a reflection of the social and civic world that funds and supports them. So #2 is out.

 

And try these for ideas of being a victim:

 a (1) : one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions (now I have cancer but I am not being sacrificed under any various condition, but I do understand that cancer is a condition that I have but I do not feel helpless or hopeless in confronting it, it is something that has to be managed even if it is end of life...)  

 

 

 

(2) : one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment b : one that is tricked or duped  

 

Now the last sequence reflects a lot of what we see on TV. A group wants to be consistently and constantly seen as a victim and recall real events of when their group was a victim, as though living in the after glow of victimhood garners them some prestige and position in any argument over which no else can deny them. But, their victimhood is a false reality, and now that victimhood has more to do with political positioning and money than anything close to the real crimes that caused other sto be the real victims of injustice. There are real victims in the world and diminishing and misusing the term undermines its meaning.

I had stage three renal cancer seven years ago which almost got me. It didn't. I remember mourning my own life while I was still alive, and I had a feeling of loss which comes with mourning...falling into the victim state of mind. Natural from what I can tell, and I didn't have that much time to do it before my surgical procedure that removed the offending organ and sending it off to some shelf in the bowels of the Maine Medical Center. But, I didn't  dwell on being the victim of cancer, didn't have time, and not really a strong part of my nature. My view, which isn't particularly special, was to get up and live whatever life I had left.

As I have told my doctors, even though I have had seven years of clear Scans, I expected that the cancer would come back. You know that once you have been shot once, the gun is loaded and there's no immunity against being shot again, or multiple time for that matter. And, in the end, something is going to end this life, whether we are victims of something or this amazing life support system we have stops on its own.

So, once I got my head around that, I did not deceive myself with false expectations, but lived my life as fully as I could within the means of my world and that of my families needs. Thus the FIVE PLUS experience, which is inherently a non-victim idea or personal philosophy.

Even when something really bad happens, I think after the initial shock, one has to stand up to the new rules and adjust to them. It would be easier to lay down and bemoan ones illness or that of the family member, but accept the illness, educate oneself to its ramifications, and have a clear idea what the outcome will be. Just because you are sick doesn't mean that whatever kernel of strength you have need turn into a bowl of jelly.

...adapt, persevere, and overcome...