No maniac trip through the biosphere today.
It's 815am on a Thursday morning.
Saw a grim picture of Jim Kelley the other day. He is suffering an advanced stage of oral cancer that has him laid low as no defensive lineman could ever do.
I like Jim Kelley, and I liked the Buffalo Bills of his time.
The Bills should have won at least one of the four shots at the ring. But, ...that's life, there are no guarantees. You have to go out and compete ever day. And Jim is a competitor and I love him for that.
Sometimes I get tired. It's easy to say, well, maybe its the cancer?
It's too easy to say that.
Sometimes, I am just tired, but once you have cancer, it lurks in your mind as an excuse for everything that might go wrong with the body...and its wrecks havoc on the spirit.
So, in quiet moments one has a tendency to make a pact with the disease.
If I am tired, well, it's the cancer.
If I get a cold, I am weak because of the cancer.
If I have an in grown toenail, well, it's the fucking cancer.
And, at my advancing years, if I feel tired, it's the cancer.
Last year, I was tired and everyone thought it was the cancer.
Well, guess what, Batman... Bam, Pow, Jeezam!
...it was the heart that was making me feel tired.
The pain in the ass part of it, is other people make the same pact with your disease. If you look tired, well...
...Tim's got the cancer, you know.
...Look how tired he looks, they say while looking you in the eye like you are not in the room.
...What's it like to have something growing inside of you?
...Don't you just want to rip it out?
I don't know how you do it?
Do what? is my response.
These are all things people have said to me, because, well, it's like being pregnant and everyone want to put their hand on your belly, but it's not life that is brewing in there, and there's a sick feeling that people want to feel the death seed as much as they want to feel the life seed. This embryo doesn't have a name, yet, so keep you prying hands off my cancer.
And this time, I am just tired, because, well, I am tired. It's doesn't have to be the cancer everytime.
In fact, I am tired because this winter has been a pissah and caused me more than once to sit on my ass and not exercise my body and spirit the way I should be.
So, Spring is arriving today on the backside of a Nor'eastah that blew through yesterday, and warmer weather is coming. I can feel it, well, because of the cancer.
Everyone, get up and get out there and play the game for Jim, and maybe a little for Tim, it's what we are here to do. I know that Neil will be in Berkley, my brother will be on Tybee, and Jack, wherever you are in Arizona, I know you will be too.
I love those who go out in the face of whatever wind is blowing and put their head down and go forward and live it the way it should be lived whether it's on a bluff overlooking the Pacific, or on the bow of a boat surveying the incoming tide coming up the Savannah River.
Best to Jim Kelley and a speedy recovery,
tim
It's 815am on a Thursday morning.
Saw a grim picture of Jim Kelley the other day. He is suffering an advanced stage of oral cancer that has him laid low as no defensive lineman could ever do.
I like Jim Kelley, and I liked the Buffalo Bills of his time.
The Bills should have won at least one of the four shots at the ring. But, ...that's life, there are no guarantees. You have to go out and compete ever day. And Jim is a competitor and I love him for that.
Sometimes I get tired. It's easy to say, well, maybe its the cancer?
It's too easy to say that.
Sometimes, I am just tired, but once you have cancer, it lurks in your mind as an excuse for everything that might go wrong with the body...and its wrecks havoc on the spirit.
So, in quiet moments one has a tendency to make a pact with the disease.
If I am tired, well, it's the cancer.
If I get a cold, I am weak because of the cancer.
If I have an in grown toenail, well, it's the fucking cancer.
And, at my advancing years, if I feel tired, it's the cancer.
Last year, I was tired and everyone thought it was the cancer.
Well, guess what, Batman... Bam, Pow, Jeezam!
...it was the heart that was making me feel tired.
The pain in the ass part of it, is other people make the same pact with your disease. If you look tired, well...
...Tim's got the cancer, you know.
...Look how tired he looks, they say while looking you in the eye like you are not in the room.
...What's it like to have something growing inside of you?
...Don't you just want to rip it out?
I don't know how you do it?
Do what? is my response.
These are all things people have said to me, because, well, it's like being pregnant and everyone want to put their hand on your belly, but it's not life that is brewing in there, and there's a sick feeling that people want to feel the death seed as much as they want to feel the life seed. This embryo doesn't have a name, yet, so keep you prying hands off my cancer.
And this time, I am just tired, because, well, I am tired. It's doesn't have to be the cancer everytime.
In fact, I am tired because this winter has been a pissah and caused me more than once to sit on my ass and not exercise my body and spirit the way I should be.
So, Spring is arriving today on the backside of a Nor'eastah that blew through yesterday, and warmer weather is coming. I can feel it, well, because of the cancer.
Everyone, get up and get out there and play the game for Jim, and maybe a little for Tim, it's what we are here to do. I know that Neil will be in Berkley, my brother will be on Tybee, and Jack, wherever you are in Arizona, I know you will be too.
I love those who go out in the face of whatever wind is blowing and put their head down and go forward and live it the way it should be lived whether it's on a bluff overlooking the Pacific, or on the bow of a boat surveying the incoming tide coming up the Savannah River.
Best to Jim Kelley and a speedy recovery,
tim
No comments:
Post a Comment