Update, November 14, 2013

My friends in Chile.

Well, another scan has come and gone. And this week I took my compass and pointed it toward BIDMC where I was scheduled to have a meeting with my doctors who would provide me with an assessment of the scans.

The most difficult thing to do is to wait.

And.

That is what they have decided to do.

The IL-2 has shocked the cancer, as the Doctor said. And instead of throwing me back into the IL-2 pit he has decided to be more circumspect and WAIT.

I don't know about you but when you know that you have a cancer, and that it is metasizing at not a great speed, but it is still there, waiting is not my first choice. In fact, I had convinced myself that I was going back in the hospital this December for another round of IL-2. Not because I am enthusiastic about the side effects and the lingering effects of the treatment, but that I would be doing something and not sitting in the corner.

The Doc's know best, I guess.

Getting ready to kick some ass.

One of the cancer sites has remained static, no growth and maybe marginal shrinkage.

The primary site had stopped growing on the last scan but has shown modest growth since.

So, the little fuckers are still in there, and unlike those sorry folks in the Philippines, they have survived the first attempt at dislodging them from my body.

But, not to fear, Doc says that in the spring the FDA will be approving some new PD-1 drugs that he intends to use. As he noted, the IL-2 is a 10 on the side-effect siesmic chart, and the PD-1 drugs are more like a 3 and to receive them no hospital time would be needed, except during the period needed to administer the drugs to me.

I get to cool my heels for three months until Feb with the wonderment of what are these little bastards up to in there. In my chest to be specific.

For any patient undergoing whatever therapy, the hope is that when you see the doctor the conversation will revolve around the tremendous success the therapy has had upon you. In this case, me. But small victories are sometimes the ones we have to come to grips with, and that further small victories are really the signposts of the road ahead. For me, the cancer is at a manageable stage and more drastic procedures, like having a death ray zapped into my chest to burn out this band of unwanted settlers can wait, and with luck, never having to be considered again.

Wait. Waiting. Waited.

The news is that I have to wait. For me, generally speaking, I have the mindset to carry on and wait, mostly because I have no choice, but I have to overcome the idea that I was readying myself for battle and now the boats have to go back into the harbor and D-Day will be postponed until some later time on the calendar.

Fuck.

I am just a specimen and a host for some rebellious cells that have attempted to create in me a colony of little devils that have a suicidal goal. But the host is not ready to give an inch to this butt band of bandits and the battle will continue. How's that for alliteration.

So, waiting it is.