I've been away.
...away on a trip...
Now this sounds weird because I have not actually gone anywhere that my wife or friends have been able to recognize and ask, "Hey Capt Jack Moonbeam, what was that trip like?"
At first I thought it might be an acid flashback. You know, one of the 60s-70s bad choices come back to haunt...
But, what I have come to recognize is what my true experience was. So, let me tell some of it the best I can.
I was driving home one night from Boston, which is a common enough experience for me. Usually a two hour drive, but like the S.S. Minnow and Gilligan's assembled misfits, my two hour tour turned into a trip from which I have only recently returned, and may slip away again at moment's notice.
Where did I go? Why did I go? and what did I learn?
Well, it all started when I switched the radio channel from my usual talk channels for sports and news, and tuned into a soft rock channel with music that was easy to listen to. That in itself was a key mind bending experience. The music was hypnotizing in its blandness and soon I found my mind drifting, the lights flashing, and the darkness surrounding me on the road to ...Cap'tn Jack Moonbeam's Adventures into the Future.
The drone of the radio kept going and my mind kept wandering, lost in the timeless of the road, the lights, and the great dome of darkness and stars above me.
Suddenly, someone asked me where I have been and why I was there.
Dumbfounded, and a little startled, I looked around to see who it was. Which in a Mini Cooper, well, there's not much room to hide. But what I found was that I was standing on a darkened street with many people standing just in the shadows. They blended with the darkness except for the light glow of their faces, still indistinguishable, but there like little anonymous lanterns that had just lost their light.
Where am I...I asked toward the Shadow People?
You are in the land of the Jo'tess, came a unified reply.
One figure stepped forward, it was a man, I think?
Yes, you are here in the realm of the Prophet Jo'tess. We welcome you from the darkness.
Then he led me away toward a small house not far away. I mean, you'd go too, right. Anyway, the Shadow People around me kept at an acceptable distance, so the weirdness of it all didn't seem to bother me much, Well, until I remember it all, which is right now, so I am feeling weird about it now, and if I wasn't in the Food Court, I probably run screaming into the bay and try to swim away from the madness.
Back to the story, er, I mean my experiences in the Realm of Jo'tess, the Prophet. Which I'll just call the Prophet from now on unless I do otherwise.
Now this sounds weird because I have not actually gone anywhere that my wife or friends have been able to recognize and ask, "Hey Capt Jack Moonbeam, what was that trip like?"
At first I thought it might be an acid flashback. You know, one of the 60s-70s bad choices come back to haunt...
But, what I have come to recognize is what my true experience was. So, let me tell some of it the best I can.
I was driving home one night from Boston, which is a common enough experience for me. Usually a two hour drive, but like the S.S. Minnow and Gilligan's assembled misfits, my two hour tour turned into a trip from which I have only recently returned, and may slip away again at moment's notice.
Where did I go? Why did I go? and what did I learn?
Well, it all started when I switched the radio channel from my usual talk channels for sports and news, and tuned into a soft rock channel with music that was easy to listen to. That in itself was a key mind bending experience. The music was hypnotizing in its blandness and soon I found my mind drifting, the lights flashing, and the darkness surrounding me on the road to ...Cap'tn Jack Moonbeam's Adventures into the Future.
The drone of the radio kept going and my mind kept wandering, lost in the timeless of the road, the lights, and the great dome of darkness and stars above me.
Suddenly, someone asked me where I have been and why I was there.
Dumbfounded, and a little startled, I looked around to see who it was. Which in a Mini Cooper, well, there's not much room to hide. But what I found was that I was standing on a darkened street with many people standing just in the shadows. They blended with the darkness except for the light glow of their faces, still indistinguishable, but there like little anonymous lanterns that had just lost their light.
Where am I...I asked toward the Shadow People?
You are in the land of the Jo'tess, came a unified reply.
One figure stepped forward, it was a man, I think?
Yes, you are here in the realm of the Prophet Jo'tess. We welcome you from the darkness.
Then he led me away toward a small house not far away. I mean, you'd go too, right. Anyway, the Shadow People around me kept at an acceptable distance, so the weirdness of it all didn't seem to bother me much, Well, until I remember it all, which is right now, so I am feeling weird about it now, and if I wasn't in the Food Court, I probably run screaming into the bay and try to swim away from the madness.
Back to the story, er, I mean my experiences in the Realm of Jo'tess, the Prophet. Which I'll just call the Prophet from now on unless I do otherwise.
The man that led me to the small house was tall, with seemingly long blond hair that was cut to look shaggy but seemed well taken care of. And when I was able to see the other Shadowed People, they too seemed to wear their hair in a similar fashion and they all dress the same, a casual, yet stylistic assemblage of light sweaters and slacks. I looked for women, but everyone looked the same and blended together into an enormous mass of sameness. Creepy.
What is your name, the man asked?
I am Jack Moonbeam. You can call me Jack if you wish.
Well Jack, I am Him of the Prophet Jo'tess.
Where am I? I asked again, the eyes of many looking into the window of the small house. Their heads swaying like the tops of tall trees in a light wind. Some only opened one eye, others blinked rapidly, and others stood with both eyes closed and hummed a tune I couldn't understand, the sound of which swelled and ebbed with the soft light inside the house.
Well, Him of Jo'tess, (...and I found it convenient that Him of Jo'ess spoke English, with a slight twist that seemed a caricature of our language. What if they spoke Hot'tentot, I'd be really screwed and this account would have taken a completely different direction.)
...Yes, Jack, I am Him of the Jo'tess and we welcome you to the land of the Prophet.
We follow his word as written in the Book of Rules, and for that we have survived the great calamity that has fallen amongst the peoples of other Prophets and other lands.
What calamity, I asked, curious to know, but wondering why I wanted to know.
Peoples followed many different rules, and those rules came into conflict with one another. They sought not to live with acceptance and tolerance, but to exterminate one another...we came here to the land of Jo'tess to survive and to follow the Rule of the Prophet, Jo'tess, who guides us with wisdom.
Suddenly in unison the voices around the house sang together, which is what unison means, the following........Produce isn’t as nutritious as it used to be. Experts say the fruits and vegetables we eat today are grown faster, and picked earlier – which leaves them with less time to absorb valuable nutrients like calcium, iron, phosphorus, and Vitamin C. In fact, a recent study found at least 43 common garden crops that have lost as much as six nutrients since 1950. Woooow....A recent study found.....mmmmmmmmmm.....
What is your name, the man asked?
I am Jack Moonbeam. You can call me Jack if you wish.
Well Jack, I am Him of the Prophet Jo'tess.
Where am I? I asked again, the eyes of many looking into the window of the small house. Their heads swaying like the tops of tall trees in a light wind. Some only opened one eye, others blinked rapidly, and others stood with both eyes closed and hummed a tune I couldn't understand, the sound of which swelled and ebbed with the soft light inside the house.
Well, Him of Jo'tess, (...and I found it convenient that Him of Jo'ess spoke English, with a slight twist that seemed a caricature of our language. What if they spoke Hot'tentot, I'd be really screwed and this account would have taken a completely different direction.)
...Yes, Jack, I am Him of the Jo'tess and we welcome you to the land of the Prophet.
We follow his word as written in the Book of Rules, and for that we have survived the great calamity that has fallen amongst the peoples of other Prophets and other lands.
What calamity, I asked, curious to know, but wondering why I wanted to know.
Peoples followed many different rules, and those rules came into conflict with one another. They sought not to live with acceptance and tolerance, but to exterminate one another...we came here to the land of Jo'tess to survive and to follow the Rule of the Prophet, Jo'tess, who guides us with wisdom.
Suddenly in unison the voices around the house sang together, which is what unison means, the following........Produce isn’t as nutritious as it used to be. Experts say the fruits and vegetables we eat today are grown faster, and picked earlier – which leaves them with less time to absorb valuable nutrients like calcium, iron, phosphorus, and Vitamin C. In fact, a recent study found at least 43 common garden crops that have lost as much as six nutrients since 1950. Woooow....A recent study found.....mmmmmmmmmm.....
Him spoke again...we learn much from the Prophet about how to care for our lives, what to eat that will keep us healthy, and how to be inquisitive into the lives of our fellows and sisters.
Hmmm. I thought. No, not Him, but Hmmmmmm?
The Prophet cares for us and proclaims the rules of our god so that we can live a good life, nurture our kind, and live separate from the chaos caused by the great calamity that befell all the peoples of the world.
Are you the only people to have survived?
No, there are others, but they do not to follow the Prophet.
Where are they?
They are cast out into the wilderness of chaos. They have no Prophet, and thus, live without order. We protect ourselves from them with our Rules, proclaimed by our god.
I heard a soft murmur growing outside...
Rule of Th....Rule of ummmmm...they sang it over and over again......We’re eating more calories than ever before. Researchers found the average person drinks about 450 more calories a day from beverages alone. Those extra calories can easily pack an extra 29 pounds to your waistline each year. Hosanna, Hosannah, Ho....
Him spoke again...yes we live by the words of the Prophet found in the book of the Prophet that has laid out the Rule.
Then another chorus broke in and seemed to swell with the conviction of the singers..."...most chickens are cooped up in a cage, where they’re fed processed corn and soy that’s designed to help them grow faster – but not healthier....hosannah, hosannah, ho, healthier more attractive chickens is what we want, so sayeth the Prophet, Jo'tss...ummmmmmmmmmmm....
Him brushed lightly at his blond shaggy (almost) hair, and leaned into the light where I could see his face more clearly. He spoke with a deep voice that was melodious and soothing........he sang....Rule as spoke by the Prophet....You find someone with the same priorities. Studies show that the happiest couples have long-term goals that are compatible, as well as similar ideas about hot-button topics, like money and parenting.
His head started to sway back and forth and the People in the shadows sang a chorus that sounded remarkably like what Him had said to me....you find someone with the same priorities....hosanna, hossanna, ho....
How did you come to know the Prophet.
Him spoke: Him lead us here and we came together to share the same priorities. We follow the Rule, the Word, and our happiness depends upon our faith in the Prophet's truth and in his explanation of the Rule of our god, Thum.
Him looked at me, his blue eyes sparkling in the soft light of the room, the many eyes of the shadowed people looking in through the windows, their heads forming a sea of continuity that stretched back into the forest of the Prophet in the land of Thum.
Cars and trucks rolled by in the darkness, their lights flashing across the pavement.
I thought I saw many heads in the darkness, coming closer to me, rising up from the forest, singing a soft melody, you must follow the Rule of Thumb, you must follow the Rule of Thumb....Rule of Thumb proclaimed by the Prophet, John Tesh....
Wanting to scream, I found it inadequate in my loneliness on the road...I restarted the engine and drove away into the night, seeing the crowd of blandness and followers of the Prophet swam over the road and overtaking other autos and trucks like a locust invasion from which we will not survive....
This is a warning. Beware the Prophet and the Rule of Thumb, whatever it may be!
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